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. Of course anyone who is interested will have to make some concessions. For one, I have a rather anemic sex drive so it doesn't matter if you're a super model, it might take a few hours to get going. I realize that I may be gay, or bisexual at the very least, however I've never taken the effort to actually find out. Instead of dealing with my problems I watch internet porn obsessively and drink excessively. Also, I live in a dump, so if you want to go on a date we're not coming back here at the end of the night unless you're a fan of broke down homes. Or having my parents listen to us make love.
By now you might be thinking that this is a fake or joke post. I assure you it's not. I really am a sad, sad little man.
On the other hand if you're seriously considering contacting me you're almost guaranteed to be in the same boat, whether you can admit it to yourself or not. At the very least, you've got some serious issues. Well good news there. No problem! Over weight? That's okay, with enough viagra I could do the tail pipe on a Chevy and enjoy it. Got issues? So do I. Want to have another guy on the side? That's okay too. I have no standards really so just by showing up you'll impress me. Have sex with me and I'll be floored... (and slightly out of breath and a little sweaty.)
Of course, it's not all negatives. I do love sailing and own a sailboat. It's located on lake Monroe and is quite fun to spend the day on. Before I became fat and lazy, I also used to love to snowboard, surf and mountain climb. If I somehow lost the weight and got on some decent exercise plan, I could do it again. (Also, sobering up would help.)
Anyway, if you are interested, drop me a line at the email listed. I'll probably insist on a video chat before we meet.
*In case you're wondering, yes, this is in fact a troll. Trolololo.../~ Just trying to bring a smile to your day :P
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